A Little Curious? Let’s Talk BDSM

Welcome to KINKTOBER, your excuse to finally bring up that fantasy you’ve been saving for “one day”. Maybe you’re curious about a blindfold. Maybe the idea of giving up control for a little while sounds intriguing. Or maybe you’ve just found the bondage section and want to know where to begin.

Good news: kink doesn’t come with a dress code, a rulebook you have to memorise or a starter pack you need to buy in one go. BDSM covers a huge range of interests, from restraint and roleplay to sensory and impact play. You can try what appeals, skip what doesn’t and change your mind whenever you like.

We know, talking about sex can feel more nerve racking than actually doing the thing. But a quick “I’ve been curious about trying a blindfold. Would you be into that?” can turn a vague fantasy into an easy conversation. Keep it relaxed and give each other room to be honest. What sounds exciting? What’s a maybe? What’s a definite no? A yes/no/maybe list can help if you’d rather compare notes than make it up as you go. And a maybe means “let’s talk about it”, not “go ahead”.

Agree on a safe word before play. The traffic light system is an easy one to remember: green means keep going, yellow means pause and check in, and red means stop. You can always change your mind, even halfway through. That’s not ruining the mood; it’s how you make sure you both want to be there.

A blindfold can make a familiar touch feel like a surprise. Add a feather tickler and you’ve got a soft, teasing way to find out whether your partner is a giggler or a “don’t you dare stop” person. Prefer a little more buzz? A compact vibrator brings a different kind of sensation into the mix. There’s no need to plan a whole scene. Pick something you’re both curious about, agree on what’s welcome and enjoy seeing where it goes. Just make sure a blindfold fits comfortably and can be removed easily. If you’re the one wearing it, you should still feel comfortable asking for a pause or stop.

There’s something undeniably exciting about letting someone else take the lead. For a first taste of bondage, soft cuffs are an approachable place to begin. An under the bed restraint set gives you more ways to position the straps, while rope play brings a whole different look and feel. 

The key is choosing gear that suits what you want to try. Check how everything fastens and, more importantly, how it releases before you start. Keep restraints comfortable, stay together throughout play and free someone straight away if they feel numbness, tingling, coldness or discomfort. 

Rope takes practice, so learn from an experienced instructor before tying it on a person. Keep safety shears close, never tie around the neck and leave suspension to trained professionals. Those gorgeous shibari photos take knowledge and skill behind the scenes.

If impact play is what you’re curious about, it helps to know your options. A paddle gives a broader contact; a crop is more precise; a flogger’s soft tails create a different sensation again. They each have their own feel, so think about what appeals before picking your first toy. Start gently and build only if you both want to. Learn about technique and the body before trying impact play, and stick to fleshy areas such as the buttocks. Avoid the spine, kidneys, neck, joints and other vulnerable spots. Keep checking in, and don’t assume a toy that looks soft will feel mild.

Sensation play is all about discovering what you enjoy, from a prickly pinwheel to the gentle pressure of clamps or the warmth of body safe candle wax. This is where taking your time really pays off. Explore one sensation at a time, follow the product instructions and keep checking in with each other.

Use a pinwheel lightly on unbroken skin. Start clamps on the loosest setting and take them off straight away if there’s numbness, discolouration or pain. For wax play, choose a candle made for body use, test it first and follow its directions. “Low temperature” doesn’t mean you can skip care.

Aftercare is your chance to come back to earth together. That could mean water, a snack, a cuddle, a blanket or a little quiet time. Ask each other what would feel good rather than guessing. When you’re ready, talk about what you loved, what you’d change and whether you’d try it again. A next day check in is a lovely way to keep the conversation open. Kink is about finding what feels good for you, together. Start with a fantasy, a conversation or one new accessory. Keep what you love, leave what you don’t and enjoy making KINKTOBER your own.

Explore the our whole bondage collection and see what catches your eye.