Your Guide to Getting a Little Kinkier

You know that fantasy you’ve almost mentioned a few times? The one that feels a little too bold to bring up over dinner, but keeps making an appearance in your head? It might be worth a conversation. Exploring kink can be as simple as letting your partner take the lead for a change, trying a blindfold or finding out whether dressing up is your thing. There’s plenty of room to be curious, a bit cheeky and occasionally awkward. We’d argue that’s part of the appeal. At Pleasure Chest, we love a reason to shake up the usual routine. From blindfolds to adult costumes and bondage accessories, we’ve got a few ideas for bringing that fantasy out of your head and into the conversation.

Kink is a broad term for sexual interests or activities that fall outside what’s usually considered conventional. Of course, “conventional” depends on who you ask. Your idea of adventurous might be someone else’s regular Friday night. It could be the appeal of restraint, a particular outfit or an agreed dynamic where one person takes charge. You might love the idea of a blindfold and have absolutely no interest in a paddle. Fair enough. There’s no need to collect the whole set. The useful question is what appeals to you. And, if you’re exploring with someone else, what appeals to them too.

Getting the words out can feel like the biggest step. Especially when your partner knows everything from your coffee order to how you load the dishwasher, but has no idea you’ve been curious about being blindfolded. Start there. “I’ve been thinking about trying something new. How would you feel about a blindfold?” is enough to open the conversation. You can talk about a scene from a book, something you’ve read or a fantasy that’s been on your mind. Give each other room to respond honestly, with no expectation that sharing an idea means doing it tonight. 

Find out what sounds appealing, what’s a maybe and what’s a definite no. Have the conversation while you’re both sober, and remember that a maybe is something to discuss, not permission to go ahead. You may know each other well. There can still be a few interesting things left to learn.

If you’ve been wondering where to start, a little browsing can help put a name to the things catching your attention.

• Sensory play explores touch, texture and anticipation. A blindfold or feather tickler might appeal if you like the idea of changing how familiar sensations feel.
• Bondage involves consensual restraint. Purpose designed cuffs are one way to explore it, with the right fit and a way to release them easily.
• Dominance and submission centres on an agreed power dynamic. Some people enjoy leading, some enjoy following, and others like to switch.
• Roleplay gives you room to try on a character or scenario. Costumes are optional, although a very good outfit can certainly help.
• Fetish clothing is about the appeal of particular materials or looks, including leather, latex and lingerie.
• Impact play includes consensual spanking and striking. If that catches your interest, learn about technique, anatomy and risk before trying it.

BDSM brings together bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It’s a broad umbrella, with plenty of different interests underneath it. Follow the ones you’re both curious about.

There’s a certain pleasure in choosing an outfit that has absolutely nothing to do with where you’re going tomorrow morning. Roleplay gives you a reason to do just that. An adult maid or nurse costume can help set up a character, while a favourite piece of lingerie might be all you need to feel a little more confident. Choose a scenario you both find appealing and keep the first attempt simple. You can decide on the premise without planning every line. Let the outfit help you settle into it, then see what feels natural.

And if you lose your train of thought or burst out laughing? You’re having fun together. Nobody is handing out acting awards.

Browse our adult costumes for a look that catches your eye, and check the size guide so you can actually enjoy wearing it.

Getting a little kinkier starts with the things that make you curious. A fantasy you finally mention, an outfit you feel good in, a different dynamic you both want to explore. You get to keep what you enjoy, leave what you don’t and change your mind along the way. Explore our bondage collection and adult costumes for a few ideas worth bringing up.